13. "Is one a boy and one a girl?"

"No... they are both boys."

"Oh, why aren't they dressed the same then?"

The subject of whether or not to dress twins identically is actually a bit controversial... Despite having so much in common with other parents of multiples, one thing we don't all agree on is whether or not to dress the same, or different.

Personally I am in the 'dress them differently' camp. That isn't to say I think parents who dress them the same are wrong, far from it. Just like any parenting decision we make, there are a number of options available, and many of them equally as right, but it is a case of choosing the one that best fits you.  

As you know from previous posts, we coded our children - one in stripes, one not.  Despite being very adamant that I was not going to make my two boys matching, I have noticed how hard I find it to dress them completely differently! By that I mean they tend to both be wearing jeans and a t-shirt, or both be in dungarees, or both be in cotton shorts, or both be in cords... all be it different colours and patterns. I don't know why that is? When my own personal philosophy with identical twins is that they are identical enough already so why then dress them the same (unless I plan to make my daughter dress the same too), but yet I can't quite let go of them matching!

• Is it a desire to have everything aesthetically pleasing in my life? Everything nice and coordinated to look at and feel tidy (in as much as one can feel tidy with 3 small children). 

• Is it that I think it just looks far cuter when they match? (It does sometimes look quite cute when they match).

• Is it a practical thing about washing clothes and having piles of the same types of clothes makes it easier? (it doesn't... nothing makes the piles of washing easier). 

• Is it being lazy, by the time I've thought through one outfit I can't be bothered to think through a second so I just repeat the outfit? (I can't honestly say I spend a lot of time thinking through outfits - theirs or mine).

• Or is it none of the above? (quite possibly).

I can't honestly tell you why I feel the need to keep them matching but different. I've tried to break away from it, but it just felt wrong. So there we go, whilst I profess to be very much in the 'they're already identical so give them a chance at being individual' school of thought, it seems subconsciously I advocate and promote their identical-ness. (that isn't a proper word, but it is still a good word).