14. "You obviously don't have a tv!"

Ermmm... yes I do. And I watch it. A lot. Most evenings in fact. It is my escapism from my reality most of the time. Plus it also comes in handy as a children's entertainer when I need one.

I know what people are getting at, that I have lots of kids (well, 3) and that therefore I must have been bored and so got busy - if you know what I mean... 

I need to be careful what I say here as who knows, one day my kids might google something and stumble across this blog... but... we conceived the boys by accident. Ok, so we are both adults, and we knew that if we weren't careful there might, maybe, be consequences. We had decided to have another child in the future, but I had just gone freelance, my husband was planning to go freelance, we had just moved house and finally had some space to enjoy, and 'spare rooms' (having spent the first year of our daughter's life cooped up in a one bedroom basement flat, space felt good) so all in all it was not the ideal time to be making a baby, let alone two. 

Therefore I often feel completely justified in having a right old moan about my life - I didn't choose to get pregnant, and I most certainly didn't choose to have two of them at once. It was thrust upon me. And I don't personally sign up for the 'god bless me with twins because he knew I could cope' line of thought.

I imagine (and I can only begin to imagine as I haven't walked in their shoes) but it must be really tough if you've fought long and hard for your children, been through rounds of IVF to finally conceive, and to have carried twins... I can imagine that it might make one feel guilty for then having days where you resent them. I might be completely wrong. Maybe you don't. But that is what I often wonder. How hard it might be to be completely honest and say 'some days I wish I hadn't had twins'. I know full well that in the early days I had days when I felt like that. 

People use to say 'oh but you wouldn't change a thing would you' - and in my head I said 'yes I bloody would'.  It doesn't for one minute mean I didn't and don't love them. I have always loved them. I have always wanted only the best for them. This has been reflected in some of the difficult decisions I have had to make along the way. But despite loving them, there are indeed moments when I have wished I didn't love them, wished I hadn't had them, wish I had never met them - because now I have met them I can't ignore them nor abandon them... And I suspect this is true irrespective of whether you conceived them with IVF or the missionary position. I just wonder how much easier it is to admit this when it is the latter?

How to put together a 'rescue package' for a mother of twins or more.

You know how sometimes you just know that someone is teetering on the edge of coping and not coping? They are just about holding it together, just about managing to juggle with fire, but one bad move and they're going to get their fingers burnt?

Well, if you know someone in this situation. Some one who is just having a bit of a crap week... why don't you put together a little rescue package for them - it might make the difference between it being a difficult week, and a really impossible week.

So what goes into this rescue package? Here goes...

Item 1 - A box of tunnocks tea cakes. 

If you have read previous posts you will know I always judged how bad a day was based on how many tunnocks tea cakes I had eaten. They come in handy. They are full of well needed sugar, and a bit of a guilty pleasure. Comfort eating can be a mum's best friend.

Item 2 - Two pairs of baby socks. 

With the instructions to remove said socks during a particularly bad moment - there is nothing quite like the site of small weeny weeny toes to make your heart go all soft and remind you just how gorgeous that noisy pooy tired little thing really is. 

Item 3 - A box of nelson's teething powders. 

These were my god send. We called them 'baby crack'. They seem to have the ability to soothe even the most grumpiest of babies, and if all else fails mummy can neck the lot and may find them soothing. 

Item 4 - A tooth brush. 

With the instructions to only aim; to brush one's teeth each day. Anything beyond this is a bonus. (thank you Marjorie for this one).

Item 5 - A teabag. 

This one will go well with the tunnock's teacakes.

Item 6 - Some paracetamol. 

Some days just hurt more than others. Paracetamol probably won't make the blindest bit of difference, but some days it just felt good to feel I was trying to do something. 

Item 7 - A bag of mixed nuts. 

(unless of course they have a nut allergy in which case skip straight to item 8). With the instructions that; a handful of these should be consumed at around 4pm, just before the evening slog begins. 

Item 8 - Two white babygrows. 

You won't believe the amount of clothes two babies can get through. And whilst all those lovely patterned ones are gorgeous to look at, they can be a pain to wash. There is nothing quite like a big pile of plain white baby clothes that you can just throw into a hot wash and not worry about them coming out pink or gray. Also handy to have two on hand in case of emergencies. Of which there will be a lot of in the early days.

Item 9 - A pack of muslins. 

I literally went through millions of these. Despite continuously washing them over and over there was never a clean one to hand. So chances are, whilst opening said rescue package mummy will also be reaching for yet another muslin, and finding them inside the package will reduce doing two things to one. Leaving mummy a little more time to shove item 1 into her mouth.

Item 10 - A babysitting token. 

The one feeling that is rather overwhelming to begin with is that your life is over and you will never be you again. Knowing that you have something to look forward to in the future, a night out with your partner / husband / wife / important other will help you through. Obviously this item is rather dependent on (a) your ability to look after small children (b) your distance from recipient of said package and (c) how much your friend trusts you with (a). If this is not a suitable token, you could instead give them a 'one home cooked meal' token, or perhaps 'a trip to the supermarket' token. Or similar. Use your imagination. But you get the general idea - it is a promise to do something practical and helpful for the family at a time in the future when they think it will help them the most.

These are just a few of the things that would have or did help me through. I'd be interested to know what other items others would have liked included in a rescue package?