You know you're a parent of twins when...

... you have heard 'you've got your hands full' more times than you care to mention.

... you open your wardrobe to find it stocked high with your latest bulk buy of nappies and wipes because they were on special offer so you had to buy the entire shelf.

... you can never (and from my experience I mean never) wing it. You have to be prepared for every eventuality, and you have to preempt their every need, and continuously plan ahead. There is no such thing as 'seeing how the day goes'. It is pretty much mapped out, minute by minute.

... you know of, and use, the word 'singleton'.

... you have owned at least two double buggies, and don't consider spending over £500 to take a step closer to the constant quest for 'the solution' excessive.

... you don't have carpets under, or anywhere remotely near, the dining table.

... there is no such thing as 'popping out' and instead even the smallest of ventures requires packing and taking a very full (at times overflowing) bag with you, containing many bottles, ludicrous amounts of nappies, a silly amount of wipes, and a large variety of snacks catering for diverse tastes.

... you consider a 'night out' to be a lager shandy and a burger and chips consumed within 1.5 hours in the local whilst nervously watching your mobile phone. (And that is on the nights you've actually fooled some poor mad soul into look after your offspring).

... you have mastered the art of holding a conversation without maintaining eye contact, simultaneously talking whilst doing a silent headcount, and taking regular breaks to go and rescue a child from the top of a climbing frame. 

... you can't remember the last time your life wasn't accompanied by the soundtrack of your washing machine permanently humming away.

... you have muscles in your arms that you previously didn't know existed.

... your local shop is all out of tunnocks teacakes.

... you have already rearranged your furniture 6 times since the twins came along, in a bid to find the optimum arrangement to keep your children safe, and are yet to admit that regardless of where you put the shelves, they will most definitely climb them.

... you find yourself saying 'we must....' several times a day, and despite feeling like you are constantly working through a list of things to be done, the 'to do' list never seems to get any shorter.

... your threshold for what you consider to pass as 'clean clothes' has gotten considerably lower than years gone by.

... your nice 'saved for sunday best' dresses are dusty. Your idea of 'dressing up' involves brushing your hair and perhaps, on a really good day, applying some mascara.

You know you're a parent of twins when you've most definitely, without a doubt, got your hands full...  


  1. Yesterday I picked up a dress and asked my husband "What went on this yesterday?".. He replied "What didn't?!?". Then I recalled the suncream, the paddling pool water, ice lolly juice, bogies, tears.. And it looked clean, to be honest, to me!

    And I have no idea what the name of the muscle is over the front of my left shoulder blade, but it hurts, a lot.. That's Acer's, my chunky boy, side!

    I so dream of the day that I will leave the house with a SMALL BAG (OK, small rucksack) and three children.. sigh!

  2. We owned 7 double buggies over the years! Btw, I love your blog and have awarded you The Versatile Blogger Award. If you're interested in finding out more take a look at