You've got your hands full - and 101 other stupid things not to say to a parent of multiples

5. "Oh, twins? Poor you!"

Where do I start with this one? I guess largely my response depends on what kind of day I am having. Sometimes I have felt like bursting into tears and saying "you have no idea how 'poor me' this is, please can I have a hug oh random stranger?". Other times it really gets my back up. I know what I do is tough, the bags under my eyes and the sugar content of my cupboards vouch for that. However, despite the tough days, despite the endless noise and the constant feeling of needing to be in 3 places at once, and have eyes in at least two different directions at one time... despite all of that, I do feel blessed.

It has taken me a while to arrive in that position. But there I am. I feel blessed. I wouldn't give back the endless nappies, the endless cuddles, the endless snotty noses, the endless dinners thrown on the floor, the endless scraps over the same toys, nor the endless sleepless nights, if it meant giving back my children. (Well, most days anyway).

Welcome to my long over due attempt at capturing some of the daft, crazy, kind or otherwise things I've been told by friends, family and random strangers since becoming a parent of multiples.

My name is Laura, and I have a daughter, who less than two years later was followed by my identical twin sons. That last year and a half has been pretty crazy, but amazingly we've all survived.

I do appreciate that any mother, regardless of whether they have one child or ten, has some rather unwelcome feedback on their parenting and / or child (e.g. "don't you think she should be wearing socks in this weather"). However, having first experienced being a mother out and about with my daughter, followed rather too swiftly by being a parent out with my twin sons, that the whole running commentary on your life ups to a whole new astonishing level

> Some comments make my jaw drop to the floor

> Some comments make my blood boil

> Some comments make me snigger.Some comments bring a tear to my eye

> Some comments make me realise how there are some things that you just won't understand until you've experienced parenting multiples

> Some comments make me realise just how well I'm doing

> Some comments are just outrageous

> Some comments are really kind

And what I've come to realise, is that all these comments (from the sublime to the ridiculous) should be documented - in part for us parents of multiples (yes, it often does feel like we are in a special club, despite my best attempts at denial) to reflect on them, laugh about them, share them and feel a sense of togetherness about them.

Hopefully also some people who don't have the luxury of twins or triplets or dare I say it quads (eek!) might read this, and might find themselves in a better position to change a very tired parent's day from a crap one, to a great one, just by getting that comment right. Or at the very least, avoiding putting their foot in it, and sending the poor parent off to the toilet in tears (or at least they would if they didn't have to single-handedly supervise more children than they have hands).

I would like to include stories and narrative from others I have shared this journey with - and if you would also like to contribute to this collection please do get in touch. Email me on ll.milling@btinternet.com with your favourite (or indeed least favourite) comments, and how you've taken to responding to them (rudely, politely, or otherwise)

This blog is supposed to be educational, entertaining, amusing, and enlightening - as well as cathartic for me, the author.

5. "Oh, twins? Poor you!"

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