17. "That's my worst nightmare" 

This one was actually said to me the other day.  I was stood outside the cafe, in the sunshine, waiting for my take away (and now daily necessity) coffee, with my 3 smiling happy children, on our way to the swings for some fun. A mother was sat outside said cafe, with her one adoring cute daughter, and they were enjoying a little smackeral of something nice.

And so it started (some what predictably at first).

Her: "Are they twins?"

Me: "Yes, this one is Edwin, this one is Rufus." (I like to introduce them by name rather than 'the twins'.)

Her: "Are they identical?"

Me: "Yes, very much so."

Her: "Is that one yours too?" (points at curly mopped 3 year old)

Me: "Yes, this one is my daughter, Elspeth. She is 3"

Her: "Oh, that is my worst nightmare, that that might happen to me"

Me: silence

Her: "now that I have her (points to previously mentioned adoring cute daughter), I don't know what I would do if I had twins now!"

Me: silence

Her: "I don't know how you cope"

Me: silence

Her: (sensing she might have just said the wrong thing) "I suppose you just do?"

Me: "Yes, you just have to" (takes now arrived daily necessity also known as coffee, and walks off to the swings to enjoy someone else's idea of a nightmare, also known as my lovely children.)

To be honest, at times, it has been my worst nightmare too. But to actually tell another mother that her life, the one she is living quite well, and doing alright with all things considered, is your worst nightmare? Well, let us just say, it isn't the kindest nor most appropriate thing to be saying. I am just grateful my children aren't old enough to understand what she had just said about them. I am just grateful that my children and I enjoyed our day at the swings, helped my mummy's caffeine intake. 



13 comments:

  1. Can I confess something? WIthout meaning to diminish how hard I know it must be at times, and how little I probably actually understand about what it will entail? Sometimes I dream about having twins next time around. Not a nightmare, a lovely dream. Just goes to show you, it's all relative x

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    1. that doesn't diminish how hard it is, I've spent enough time with you to know you do appreciate what it is I do... but I am glad that despite knowing me, you aren't totally put off the idea! and for what it is worth, I think you'd rock at the whole twins thing....

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  2. Just wanted to thank you, as a mum of 4 m old twins and a 27 m old daughter, for helping to keep me sane and show me there's light at the end of what does feel a bit like a tunnel at times! Twins have been ill and nursing hourly at night so reading this is a joy I look forward to, and encourages me that it will get easier and it's not just me! Thanks :)

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    1. Thank you for this comment. It means a lot to know I in some way help others get through the tough days. Despite the sometimes overly negative undertones of this blog, being a mum of twins is amazing. It is so flipping hard, and the first year was pretty darn intense and difficult... but you do get an awful lot of love in return. My boys just had their first hair cut today... I can't believe they are getting so old... not really babies anymore - definitely toddlers. Keep on trooping... You are doing an amazing job, and one day you will get your rewards. It WILL and DOES get easier.

      xxx

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  3. I think other mommies can just be rude. I have often looked at moms of multiples with so much respect. I was tired with just one when my babies were little. I think the older I get you just rise above these people that say stupid things like this to you. Before you know it (time goes so fast) your beautiful children will graduate High school. I do miss my baby days. I often wonder how time got away from me.
    I love your attitude and the fact you know how valuable your time with them is when they are small. Bravo!
    ann from @babycountdown on twitter

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    1. Some days it is easier than others. Some days I am guilty of wishing away the early years and I am caught longing for the day they are all in high school... But thankfully I have more days now when I can enjoy the day, and not just long for it to be over.

      For what it is worth, whilst her comment did hurt my feelings, I don't think she meant to offend me. If anything she probably respected what I do. Most mothers do. I think it probably came out wrong. And I was in a vulnerable place (one of my boys had just had an operation and so it had been a challenging few days) so she caught me at a low.

      But I have challenged myself to try and stay positive now.

      Being a mum of multiples is a chore, but also a blessing.

      Thank you for stopping by...

      Lx

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  4. Your experience about comments makes me smile. When I was pregant with my first child, my uncle told me to buy a big black book and write 'Advice' on it. Whenever someone started to give me advice on pregnancy / childbirth / children - I could hand them the book and ask them to write it down.

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  5. I don't think I would be able to hold back if someone said this to me. I would probably blurt out something equally rude such as "The feeling is mutual... I'm sure YOUR kid would be MY worst nightmare".

    Or if I was feeling polite, I might say "That's a bit f***ing rude!"

    I have dreamed of having twins all my life. Since I was 5 years old, I have always always wanted twins. I stood up in assembeley and told my whole school I was going to have 2 sets of twins when I was older. I convinced myself. I beleived it. And now I think myself the luckiest woman alive because I have twins and a single daughter.

    I truly beleive if i were to fall pregnant again, that I would get that second set of twins. But unfortunately due to complications at birth, I have been told I should not have any more children as it could kill me. So if in 5 years time, the dream of a second set is still alive, I will look into adopting twins.

    I can't comprehend how somebody could refer to twins as a nightmare, but for those that do - they should keep that thought to themselves!

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  6. Do you have an email address you can be contacted on or do you have a preferred other method?

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    1. Hi Louise, I can be contacted on ll.milling@btinternet.com

      If you have any problems with that address just let me know.

      Cheers

      Laura

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    2. Hi Louise, I can be contacted on ll.milling@btinternet.com

      If you have any problems with that address just let me know.

      Cheers

      Laura

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  7. Quite! We've just moved to a small village and EVERYONE knows ours aren't IVF now because they've all had the temerity to ask. I may start questioning them on their sex lives too ;)

    Check out my two when/if you have a sec:

    http://likepeasinapod.com/

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